How to make yourself disappear online dating

Your situation will likely vary but my thoughts are generally the same: some tiny detail on the difference in your last email is often not the reason.

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It doesn’t mean he’s lost all interest in you…more likely he has found something that interests him just as much but is more accessible (closer in this case) to pursue.

Responding to This Situation All that being said, I think it’s very reasonable for you to reach out to him. That is, I would just come out and say “Why did you stop emailing me?!

When I was excited to talk to a woman I could barely wait to write my next email and actually had to force myself to pause sometimes. In this case, I would think it’s unlikely that you did something wrong. However, once the long emails start I believe the (unspoken) social contract has basically been signed and continuing to write long emails it totally acceptable.

When we’re exchanging long emails with one another in online dating, we’ve passed the point where a long email is risky. So the length isn’t something you should worry about. The second different you pointed out was that you complimented him. For example, if I wrote a woman said that I thought she was very pretty, that seems safe.

I think one of three things is likely to happen if you send an email like this: For the first or second case, that would cause me to believe even more in my theory that he has started talking with someone else. This email isn’t about saving the relationship anymore, it’s simply about understanding what happened so you can learn for the future.

In these cases, I think writing an email requesting some closure is totally acceptable. There’s no recovery from an email like this (you’ll be asking questions like “Did I say anything wrong? If, on the other hand, he apologizes for being out of touch with you then there is still a chance but I would be cautious.

I don’t understand why he would have meaningful conversations with me, even mention he might want to meet, etc. I’m going to try to keep as much as my original reply to this reader in this article however I wanted to point something out: this situation can happen to anyone and it is not uncommon.

In this article, I’ll discuss the topic in a way specific to her situation but the advice still can apply to anyone, even if your details differ.

Insulating Yourself from this Situation I don’t have any secret on preventing this situation from happening.


  1. Her areas of speciality include working with Anxiety Disorders (Panic, OCD, Social Anxiety, Health Anxiety, PTSD, GAD, persistent Worry and Phobias), Depression, Self Esteem and Confidence issues, Perfectionism, Anger problems, Bipolar Disorder and Psychosis.

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